My Translucent Mind

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Medicine ( Dec. 5, 2013 )

For so many years I lay broken at your feet.
Shattered across the ground, left as nothing but a figment of what could have been.
It was the memories that kept me there.
The memories of the love I once had for you, the memories of the heartbeat we once shared, the memories of the day you left.
So many months past that I tried to fix myself.
But my hope was wasted, for when the night came my demons tormented me yet again and every morning I would wake up fighting for my life.
As the darkness enthralled me in its temptations I began to fall.
Deeper and deeper I became and soon I was left in an empty shell of what seemed to portray my image.
Yet no likeness was found.
Because in that image there was no smile, no love, no anything.
I was simply there.
I was but yet a rotting carcass slowly dying with every wasted breath.
And no matter how much I wanted to feel the sun beat against my skin, or feel the rain wash away all my pain, I just couldn’t anymore.
For all I felt was that pit inside of me, eating me alive
The torture was becoming so unbearable and life was loosing it’s meaning.
But something changed, the day I thought I wouldn’t be able to beat the nightmares, I was given a gift.
Here I was closer than ever before to the reaper that I so willingly welcomed. And someone was offering me life.
How could I deny something so precious.
To one day be able to see, to feel, to care again.
Oh how I longed for the dreams.
It has been to many hours I spent with death by my side.
Today I shall walk through the gates of hell with this light.
And no longer will I die.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Dear Little Fat Girl ( Jan. 25, 2013 )

Your finger moist with vomit

Your breath reeking of lost dreams

Don’t eat little fat girl

You could be pretty

Your stomach pleading for help

Your mind broken with a portrayed image of beauty

Don’t eat little fat girl

You could be loved

Here you sit

Forgotten on the cold tile floor

No longer what you once were

But a sickly vision of society

Don’t eat little fat girl

Don’t eat

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Destruction ( Jan. 22, 2013 )

Arrogance is your ally,

You use it against the weak.

For the hatred you spew,

Is but yet the everlasting destruction of a young woman.

Here she lies broken,

Never again to share the love she thought she knew.

Where did you go?

Why has life corrupted all that you once were?

Now you hurt her without any intention.

Yet knowing this, you hate yourself.

It is with this that she fears who it is you have become.

Her life is darkened.

The air grows thick.

Her lungs begin to constrict and her eyes begin to leak.

Soon she drowns in her own demented terrors.

Never again to feel loved, yet forever to have to feel.

For this is her hell….. This. Is her home.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Broken Promises ( Sept. 14, 2012)

Let hell strike you were it hurts.

Where every broken promise you made is now a shattered piece of glass entering your carcass.

And where every lie is the salt on the wound.

I want you to know how it feels.

I want you to cry every night in pure agony.

Having nothing but the lullaby of your own demented screams to fill the night

For you walk this earth as a creature of Satan’s own design.

Yet you are nothing… isn’t that what you told me?

Or was it the poison sinking into your blackened veins?

How about the smell of death filling your decaying lungs?

You have lost everything to the monster you have indulged with.

And forever now shall you be just that.

Unloved by all, you shall die.

Given back to the ground in which you came.

And never to arise once more.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

What Is It To Me? ( Mar. 28, 2012 )

I'm done lying in this pool of your disgust.
For what is it to me if you break?
Besides, isn't it you who once stated that I was your problem?
And now you try to hide behind blanketing words?
No!
No I say!
It is you and only you who needs to bite your tongue until nothing but a stub remains.
And then finally when age ha taken my side, that is when I will rip you from your covers and strangle you with what you've created.
For what is it to me if you break?

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Broken ( Apr. 24, 2011 )

It is your screams that haunt my nightmares.
The ones where I drown in the blood that pours from you heart and you shatter every aspect of love that we once shared.
And now as you rot in hell, you dare to desire what you so viciously took from me.
I can not give what I no longer contain, friend.
Yet the pain in which you undoubtedly left is yours anytime.
For you were once all I used to be.... I hope you can feel the serrated edges of those broken pieces you were so kind to create.
Perhaps then you will understand.

What Was Once ( Aug. 24, 2011 )

The rhythmic movement of your body is what wakes my inner most desires.
Yet it is the beat of your heart that lingers within my subconscious.
For to feel love is everything. Though to loose it , it becomes as empty promise. Still something, yet almost nothing at all.
It slowly devours the soul in which it contains, never again to be mended, shattered into pieces for all eternity.
And though I dream of the pain that you once offered, it is the beauty of what was once, that shall forever be missed.